With employee turnover costing UK businesses an average of £30,614 per departing employee and engagement levels at near-record lows, the managers who retain their best talent aren’t necessarily the ones with the largest budgets or most generous benefits packages—they’re the ones who have awareness and understand how their own behaviour shapes their team’s decision to stay or leave.
The primary reason people leave their jobs isn’t pay or workload – it’s their line manager. Yet many managers have little idea of the impact they’re having on their team – and the talent, engagement, good will and ideas they risk losing as a result. Richard Branson once famously said, “Success in business is all about people, people, people. Whatever industry a business is in, its people are its biggest competitive advantage”. In these days of tight labour markets and career portability, holding onto & engaging talent is one of the most sensible investments a business can make.
Emotional Unintelligence
Picture the scene at any given Monday morning team catch up for how a leader’s blind spots can slowly erode the engagement that keeps good people from polishing up their CVs…
Sarah arrived at the regular Monday morning team meeting running slightly late after dealing with a crisis email about missed sales targets. As the managers discussed quarterly performance, Sarah found herself having to jump in and ‘bring things back to reality’, cutting discussions off mid-stream to keep things moving, tapping her pen impatiently as she thought about the tough conversation with her boss that would inevitably be needed, and meeting every new impractical idea with a sigh and an eyeroll.
When team member Mike suggested a new customer outreach strategy, an exasperated Sarah, who’d heard it all before, listed the three reasons why it would never work, ultimately ending the meeting with an instruction for everyone to ‘just try harder’.
After the meeting, Sarah was frustrated that the team “wasn’t being strategic enough” and bemoaned their lack of initiative to her colleague, Joe, who sympathised. Meanwhile, her team were texting each other about “Sarah being in one of her moods again” and to watch their step today. Mike, whose idea was dismissed, has decided not to bring up any other suggestions ever again and vows to keep his head down & his mouth shut in future.
Sarah has no idea that her stressed energy and defensive communication style just cost her team their best ideas, her company that competitive edge they’re looking for and herself, her own reputation as a leader. She’s completely unaware that what she intends as “decisive and realistic” comes across as “shutting people down and not interested in solutions” to everyone else. Her team decide to leave it to her to tell them what to do rather than risk being shot down in flames like Mike.
Feel uncomfortably familiar?
So often, we are unaware of the impact we’re actually having and how our good intentions are being misinterpreted by others. It’s called a blind-spot for a reason – because we can’t see it! And we’re even less likely to see it, or to misjudge the gap between our actions and their impact when we’re dealing with pressure. Why? Because then our brains are most likely in threat mode and getting reverting to the classic survival reactions of flight, flight or freeze.
What Emotional Intelligence Is
All of us have emotions. It‘s a simple fact – a part of being human. And whether we realise it or not, these emotions impact us every day. They also impact those around us, both in the workplace and in our personal lives.
And that brings us to the first part of Emotional Intelligence (EI), becoming more aware of the emotions we are experiencing and how they are affecting how we are showing up – in our work and in our personal life. Learning to be recognise and manage these is half the battle. The second part of EI is awareness of how others are feeling and their ability to engage, work and be productive. There is good research that unpleasant emotions narrow and limit our thinking, blocking creative thinking, restricting solution finding and reducing resilience.
Emotional Intelligence (EI) is a set of skills that help us better perceive, understand and manage emotions in ourselves and others. Collectively they help us make intelligent responses to, and use of, emotions. These skills are as critical as our intellect (IQ) in determining success in work and life. Everyone, no matter what job function, has interactions with other people.
Studies have shown that high levels of emotional intelligence boost career success, mental health, personal and professional relationships and happiness. Higher levels of Emotionally Intelligent Workplace Behaviour are also the best antidote to work stress and building personal resilience. Indeed, in 2020 the World Economics Forum ranked Emotional Intelligence as one of the top 10 skills for business success.
The capacity to understand emotions, be aware of them and how they behaviour & our interactions with others, can improve ‘people‘ skills and help us all ultimately be more satisfied and successful.
Emotional Intelligence in Action
Let’s go back to Sarah. Picture this scene instead:
Sarah ends her crisis call and takes a few notes to capture her thoughts & calm herself before heading to her meeting. She apologises for being late and lets the team know about the call she’s just taken (in outline, without the emotion!) to explain why she might seem a bit more scattered than normal. She asks the team members if they are ok with changing today’s format so that they can all discuss sales performance more fully. Keeping the team informed helps settle their nerves and stops speculation and rumours starting.
After a quick sweep round the room for any other pressing issues, Sarah chooses two issues from the more junior team members who need the extra input and schedules the remaining issues for 1-1 follow up the next day. She knows supporting the less experienced team members first will help them focus on the rest of the discussion.
She sets a limit of 10 minutes for discussion & ideas on each issue. Sarah invites contributions from other team members who share ideas & suggestions. Sarah asks a few questions to help the team tease out practicalities and see potential problems. She checks in with each junior team member at the end of ‘their’ 10 minutes and offers further offline support to one who seems less sure.
Moving on to the sales performance discussion, Sarah sets out the problem – lower than expected sales figures for the last 2 months – and invites the team to respond. She makes sure to focus the team on what *is* working as well as what isn’t, and reminds them they’ve fixed problems like this before to keep their energy levels and morale up. “I know this feels tough and things aren’t going exactly as we’d want right now, but we’ve been here before and we know how to fix it, we just need to focus and find the solution together”
When Mike makes his suggestion for a new customer outreach strategy, Sarah’s immediate response is an inward sigh of frustration – it’s a complicated proposal and won’t make a difference quickly enough to save this season’s revenues. She reminds herself to take a breath before responding and frame her concerns as questions – she doesn’t want to stifle the team’s ideas or enthusiasm for finding a solution, and who knows, maybe there is something in it!
Sarah asks Mike to explain a bit more, telling him the bits she’s concerned about, particularly the need for a quick turnaround as well as a more comprehensive strategy. Letting the team know what’s on her mind allows them to explore it with her and come up with ideas from their direct face-to-face customer experience for both the short and longer term.
At the end of the meeting, Sarah summarises what they’ve discussed, checks the team know their immediate actions and thanks them for their contributions and commitment to finding a solution. She ends the meeting, asking the junior team member to stay on for an extra 15 minutes so she can go back over their problem and reassure them on their approach.
Sarah has 10 minutes before her next meeting and uses them to call her boss and update her on the team’s action plan for boosting sales again. Her next meeting is with Joe, a colleague, and she takes 5 minutes at the start of that to reflect with him on her morning before getting into the task at hand with a clear mind.
Far from being ‘soft & fluffy’ knowing how to recognise and manage our emotional responses in a way that is both authentic and empowering for others around is the key to building an environment that our teams *want* to stay in.
Who doesn’t want that in their teams and their business?
——————————————————–
At Perception Insights, we have a range of assessments, including Emotional Intelligence to help understand your and your teams’ ability in this area.
Contact us at tellmemore@perception-insights.com for a quick chat or to request a sample report.