Picture this. You’ve allocated a task to a team member and it comes back only half done. Instead of sending it back, you finish it off yourself “because it will be quicker.”
Or maybe you’ve held onto a piece of work instead of delegating it “because they won’t do it as well as me.”
Or there’s the knee-jerk “here’s how to do it” response when someone comes to you with a problem, rather than supporting them to work it out themselves.
And then we wonder why we’re rushed off our feet with too much to do and a needy team!
Following on from last week’s article on delegation, coaching is another core skill that transforms how managers work. But let’s be clear: it’s not about learning to be a coach. It’s about adding another style to your toolbox that allows you to lead effectively and your team to flourish.
Why Bother?
Shifting from directing to coaching means evolving from giving answers to supporting growth. When we direct, we solve today’s problem. When we coach, we develop problem-solvers for the future.
The real power of coaching is that it creates a multiplier effect. Instead of your individual expertise being the bottleneck, you’re unlocking the collective intelligence and creativity of your entire team. This not only leads to better solutions but also increases engagement, builds confidence, and prepares team members for greater responsibilities.
Coaching builds a team that thinks independently rather than one that waits for instructions. It transforms your role from the person with all the answers to the person who helps others find theirs.
It’s not about abandoning direction completely – the most effective managers flex between styles based on the situation, the individual’s development level, and the stakes involved. But when you can coach rather than direct, you should.
What Coaching Actually Means for Managers
At its core, a coaching style is about developing people’s capabilities and independence rather than simply directing their actions. It means helping team members develop their own solutions through guided problem-solving, thoughtful questions, and supportive feedback.
A lot of it is about asking the right questions – sometimes “que-ggestions” (suggestions disguised as questions: “Have you thought about trying X?”) – to help team members think things through for themselves.
When you do this repeatedly, you teach your team that coming to you for the answer isn’t the easy option. They learn you’ll expect them to have done at least some thinking themselves. And that’s not harsh – it’s respectful. You’re treating them as capable problem-solvers, not order-takers.
A coaching approach is also useful when you spot a pitfall ahead but don’t want to just give the answer and either undermine their confidence or come across as micromanaging. A carefully asked question can help them uncover the issue themselves – and they’ll be more likely to remember the lesson.
The Power of Questions
Not all questions are equal. The type of question you ask matters.
Open questions are generally better than closed ones. Compare “Will you be able to meet the deadline?” with “What do you need to do to meet the deadline?” The second one encourages thinking, planning, and identification of risks. It also gives you more confidence they understand the task.
‘What’ questions are usually more powerful than ‘Why’ questions. “What are you worried about?” focuses on actual issues and concerns. “Why are you worried?” implies judgement and often triggers justification rather than reflection. What questions are specific and action-focused; why questions can put people on the defensive.
Forward focus beats backward focus. Replace “What went wrong?” with “What will you do differently next time?” One dwells on problems; the other builds learning.
One of the most powerful coaching questions? “What else?” As in: What else could we do? What else could be causing it? What else is important? “What else” questions encourage people to think beyond the obvious. Often the real issue or solution lies in that second or third answer.
Useful Frameworks
There are any number of coaching models out there. We’ve found the following three particularly helpful for managers wanting to use a coaching style on a day to day basis.
The GROW Model
The GROW model is a practical framework for structuring coaching conversations. You don’t need to follow it rigidly, but having it as a mental checklist helps guide your questions:
- Goal: What are you trying to achieve? What does success look like?
- Reality: What’s the current situation? What’s actually happening right now?
- Options: What could you do? What are the different ways forward?
- Way Forward: What will you do? What’s your next step?
It’s simple, but it works because it takes people on a logical journey from problem to solution – with them doing the thinking.
The OSKAR Model
Another useful framework is OSKAR, which adds a stage we think is important:
- Outcome: What do you want to achieve?
- Scaling: Where are you now on a scale of 1-10? Where do you want to be?
- Know-how: What’s worked before? What are your strengths here?
- Affirm: Recognition that they can do this – building confidence and motivation
- Review: What will you do next?
That affirmation stage matters. Motivation is a key part of building confidence, and explicitly showing your belief that they can handle this gives them fuel to tackle the challenge.
Performance = Potential – Interference
The Tim Gallwey model offers a helpful lens: Performance = Potential – Interference
Your task as a manager becomes clearer: help your team member identify and remove the ‘interferences’ getting in the way of their performance. Some are internal – thoughts, worries, mental blocks. Others are external – skills gaps, lack of authority with key stakeholders, unclear processes, the actions of others.
Asking “What’s getting in the way of you doing this?” can be very powerful. It puts the focus on removing barriers rather than just pushing harder.
Coaching for Different Situations
The beauty of a coaching approach is that it adapts to different scenarios:
When they’re stuck: “Take a step back – what’s the main issue?” or “What have you dealt with before that’s been like this?”
When they’re not confident: “Which bits feel most familiar?” or “What step could you take today?”
When they’re overwhelmed: “Let’s break this down into smaller parts” or “What needs to be dealt with now and what can wait?”
When they’re ready to grow: “What did you learn from that situation?” or “What would you change and what would you keep next time?”
The questions change, but the principle stays the same: help them find their way through, rather than giving them your answer.
When to Direct vs When to Coach
Even when you need to step in and give an answer, adopting a coaching style is still possible. It might mean explaining why you’re suggesting what you’re suggesting, or perhaps getting them to unpick your reasoning for themselves.
And sometimes, after you’ve gone through a good coaching process, you’ll want to move things on to action. Asking closed questions at that stage – to gain commitment and galvanise them to action – can be a great way of closing it off and kick-starting the work.
The art is knowing when to guide versus when to empower.
Getting Started with Coaching
If this all feels like a big shift, start small:
- Next time someone brings you a problem, pause before answering. Ask them: “What have you thought about so far?” or “What do you think we should do?” You’ll be surprised how often they already have ideas.
- Try “What else?” as your go-to follow-up. When someone gives you their first answer, ask “What else?” See what comes up. Often the second or third response is where the gold is.
- Pick one team member to practice with. Someone who’s ready to step up and would benefit from more autonomy. Use coaching questions with them consistently for a fortnight and notice what changes.
- Keep GROW in your back pocket. When someone comes to you with a challenge, mentally run through: Goal, Reality, Options, Way Forward. Let those stages guide your questions.
- Notice when you’re about to give an answer. Could you ask a question instead? It won’t always be appropriate – sometimes people genuinely need your decision or expertise – but often there’s room to coach rather than tell.
The goal isn’t to become a professional coach. It’s to shift from being the person with all the answers to being the person who helps others find their answers. That’s what builds a genuinely self-reliant, high-performing team.
The Real Benefit
When managers embrace a coaching approach, they discover something liberating: their team doesn’t need them less – they need them differently.
Instead of answering the same questions over and over, you’re having more strategic conversations. Instead of solving problems, you’re developing problem-solvers. Instead of being the bottleneck, you become the catalyst.
Your team becomes stronger, more confident, and more capable. And you? You finally get time to focus on the work that actually moves things forward.
Management isn’t about having all the answers. It’s about asking the right questions.
For more practical frameworks and a comprehensive bank of coaching questions for different situations, download our free Manager’s Guide to Coaching from the resources section of our website: www.perception-insights.com/resource
You can also find excellent guidance in this Harvard Business Review article: How to Be a Great Coach, Even When You’re Busy
